Before you jump down my throat, let me clarify that I love my kids and I love my life. But that doesn’t mean every day is filled with sunshine and roses. If honest realizations (aka complaints) bother you, feel free to move along. But if you are human and know from your own experience that life is sometimes frustrating, keep reading because what I am about to say may resonate with you.
After a frustrating weekend of unfinished home maintenance and repairs and the seemingly endless stream of needs of my children, it dawned on me that I very rarely live my life for myself. The bulk of my time is spent caring for others, fulfilling others’ needs, and ensuring the health, happiness, and general well-being of my children and the other people closest to me. My own desires and wishes almost always come in dead last on the invisible priority list that rules my life. Self-awareness is sometimes really depressing.
Ok, fine—I’m whining. And I sound selfish, and like a generally deplorable person who doesn’t deserve all of the blessings I’ve been given. Whatever. Deal with it. Sometimes life gets me down, and I just need to vent. I’ll get over it and be thankful and happily present in a little while. But for now, I am wallowing.